nerdy rant.

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December 3, 2012 by shontemarie

**I’m going to start this with a disclaimer that I’m likely to offend some of the young, “hip” crowd with this post. I am also probably confirming any suspicions that I am actually a crotchety old woman, who somehow got the lucky fortune of inhabiting this awesome, young and spry body instead of an old, crusty, hunchbacked one.**

Here’s my big revelation for the day:

I (kind of) HATE TEXT MESSAGING.

I realize as a twenty-something year old gal who is usually on the up-and-up with pretty much any form of technology out there, that this probably comes as a surprising and confusing declaration. Just hear me out, ok??

First of all, it is near impossible to always accurately decipher the tone of voice in a text. At some point you’re going to make someone mad or annoyed, and it won’t even be your fault. For example,  you might text someone something completely innocuous, but depending on the recipient’s mood/hunger levels/level of smartass-ishness at the time of reading said text, you could be misconstrued horribly. Circumstances will be complicated further, if the reader of your text is like me, and has the awesome ability to overanalyze any and everything read between the lines to see the true meaning of what you sent. Im just saying, if you’ve ever text me and then wondered if I took something the wrong way, yup, I totally did. But it’s cool. I forgive you.

Another thing that annoys me about texting is the utter laziness that it prompts. I mean, it’s bad enough if you need to talk about something important and  you couldn’t be bothered to make time to just call me, but now, people can’t even take the time to type out complete words?! More and more often, I find myself struggling to decipher strings of letters that appear to be randomly thrown together, but supposedly are acronyms for “common” phrases. I miss the days when acronyms still had a special status! We reserved them for things like easily identifying important organizations such as NASA, FBI, or MTV. I am also totally a fan of an educational, mnemonic acronym. PEMDAS and ROY G BIV deserve mad props for getting me through elementary school, okay??  I can even handle the standard internet slang; OMG pops up in my own enthusiastic texting regularly, and I appreciate knowing when I’ve made someone LOL. But start flinging “yduwtk” and “n2mhbu” at me, and you are going to lose me. It’ll take me longer to Google what the heck that means, than it would have taken for you to just type it out in the first place!!

Ain’t nobody got time for that.

Another peeve of mine is concerning improper ellipsis use. I only recently have noticed this trend growing in popularity, but I am here to SHUT THAT SUCKA DOWN. grammaFor those not cool with the lingo, an “ellipsis” is that form of punctuation commonly referred to as the “dot, dot, dot.” I will confess here that I am ok with an occasional use of the ellipsis. I totally get it; it makes sense to use it to let me know you were thinking hard about something, or that you took pause before replying to me. I’m fine with using it to show sarcasm, as well. What really chaps my hide is when people misuse ellipses in place of any other punctuation; namely, that old standby, the period. The rules haven’t changed, people!!! If your thought is complete and it’s time to wrap up the sentence, USE A PERIOD. Or an exclamation point. Even a freaking question mark would be acceptable! I’d rather assume you were implying an inquisitive inflection of voice, than to “hear” all of your texts in a bored and lifeless tone. Seriously, when I see someone repeatedly overuse an ellipsis, it makes me imagine them as a drooling, imbecilic blob slobbering on a smartphone.

Some of this rant may seem silly or harsh, and yes, I judge every text I receive. I realize it isn’t kind or fair. Get over it. Learn how to use grammar and punctuation correctly, and I’ll start judging you more positively. (Oh, and I realize that the fact that improper punctuation gets me this riled up makes me an über-dork of the highest order. I don’t mind. :D)

Ok, so I know that now you’re likely wondering if I boycott texting altogether to avoid these annoyances, or am I just a raging hypocrite?  I am actually an avid texter. If I need to say something quick and to the point, or the environment or circumstance doesn’t make a phone call a prudent idea, then I will happily text instead. I will have lengthy text convos if life gets in the way of just picking up the phone to catch up with someone, as well. But I would prefer to talk on the phone. And yes, I proofread before I hit send any texts. Now, if only I could get everyone else in my contact list to do the same, I’d be one happy nerd. 🙂

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