Audience of One

2

December 2, 2012 by shontemarie

Dearest,

Hello! I suppose it is a big strange to write a letter to someone I have never met, and am not even sure will ever exist…but, here I am, doing it anyway. Given that intro, my next statement may come as a surprise… I started a blog for a few reasons, and you were one of the main ones. Why? How? Who am I??

I’m your mother, silly. 🙂 Feels weird to say that, gosh. Especially considering the fact that I have neither a child or any imminent means of acquiring one, how did I know I should write you a blog? Blame it on my sappy, romanticized, love fool heart.

You’ve probably read a story, or seen a movie where at some point, one of the characters unearths some dusty, crinkly packets of papers and mementos from the recesses of  the family attic…these aging treasures always end up being either the lovesick devotions from a war hero husband to his bride waiting impatiently back home, or sometimes an old dog-eared diary from the formative years of some ancient relative. Consider this blog my dog-eared diary. I’ve tried in vain to keep written journals, but lose interest and patience with them easily. I’m a tech girl despite my desires for the contrary. So I apologize for the lack of graceful, loopy cursive and quirky doodles in the margins. Instead, you will get neatly typed letters, which hopefully can still carry my voice and convey my emotions the way a decisive stroke of the pen would do so in real handwriting. I regret that you will not find any paper-thin, fragile pressed flowers tucked away between the pages, or any yellowed photographs of anyone I’ve happened to hold near and dear. In place of these things, you’ll likely find silly “gifs” that made me giggle, and goofy pictures taken on a whim of myself and my friends with the help of a long outstretched arm, an iPhone, and practiced hand at the art of “selfies.” There will likely be many pictures of the foods I ate, the clothes I wore, and the cat I loved. Hopefully, one day there will be photos of the man I love (your father?!) and maybe even of you!

Maybe you’re still wondering, “Ok, but why did you want ME to be the future reader of this blog??” Well, between every generation, there seems to be a divide; a “gap,” if we want to go with the old cliche. Relevance is often lost to some degree from parent to child, and though I feel like that is a normal and healthy occurrence, I would like to be able to give a glimpse of myself to my own children in a fresh and honest way. I think I have only recently begun to see my own parents in a different light. As a small child, your parents are your whole world, and you assume you are theirs. When the shift changes and you realize they have their own separate, regular lives, it can be a little weird o comprehend. Then, when you realize they once had a completely different, possibly AWESOME life before you came along, I think it begets some questions. I know for me personally, it was always a treat to hear stories about my parents’ pre-Shonte existences. They almost sounded like a bunch of crazy, unbelieveable tales… “Wait, so let me get this straight: you had fun once WITHOUT me??! Before I was born?! Nah..”

I hope this blog gives you a peek of my “pre-You” life, and shows you that though I am sure I totally have it all together now, as Super Mom, there were times when I was unsure and confused about life, as you may possibly be now. You’ll be able to delight in tales of the dumb things I did, and laugh at the insane circumstances I often find myself in. Hopefully, you’ll be able to relate to this stage of my life on some level, and maybe it will even prompt some great conversations between us! I pray that the past-me gives the present-you hope for your own life. Plus, there’s always the chance that I’ve forgotten many of the stories I tell here, so it will be an awesome walk down memory lane for me.

I’m probably totally selfish for saying this, but I’m excited for future ME to read this as well!! Is that weird? Narcissistic?  Oh, well! Just a few more of my current, charming characteristics! 😉 On the terribly morbid (and hopefully not correct!) chance that I am no longer around and able to share any tales of my twenty-ish years with you, I hope this blog serves as a time capsule for you…then again, according to the Mayans at this very moment there are only like 19 days left of this world, anyway, so maybe this is all a moot point. (fingers crossed against this being the case.)

I’m rambling now (that probably doesn’t change with age) so I’m going to wrap it up. A few parting thoughts:

  • I love you. I love you right now, at this moment, and I don’t even know you. I love the idea of you, and I am sure you are waaaay more awesome than I could even have imagined! So I bet I love you like a bajillion times more once you’re a real, living being. (Please remember this when you’re being a little shit, slamming doors in my face and wishing for another, different mother.)
  • I’m human, and I once was a bumbling fool, trying to navigate my way through life. (obvi.) Please don’t judge the things said here, or let them negatively skew your vision of me. Be empathetic. Keep an open mind.
  • Remember that you will one day likely have kids of your own, and if you try to use these stories against me with them, I’m sure I have way more dirt on you, than you have on me! Don’t tempt me. 😛

All my love,

Mom

 

 

**this post was inspired by one of the challenges from The Daily Post @ WordPress…true to form, I’m like 5 days behind the actual date of the challenge, but whatev.

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2 thoughts on “Audience of One

  1. icingandcake says:

    I loved this piece, it’s so original, funny and beautiful! Thanks a lot! 😉

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